Ahh, spring break. You are supposed to invigorate me. According to the educational system, I right about deserve a week off right about this time of year. However, my mind can't seem to take this delicious mental vacation I so desperately need right about this time of year. When I just want some time to chill and not worry about my ever-present troubles crashing down upon me, instead I am more and more entangling myself in thoughts wrapping themselves around my brain and my soul is struggling to find air.
I have learned lately, people are never who you expect, and you can never trust those same people. Yes, it is possible for someone to say one thing to your face and another behind your back. Yes, it is possible for a person to appear one way yet be totally the other. And yes, it is possible for someone who once said they loved you, to purposely smite you.
So I am stuck in a mental limbo, and I cannot decide whether to blindly trust people and offer the benefit of the doubt, or skip the fence and offer no mercy to the world since it offers none to me. It does not seem to matter with how much love you approach a situation with, it does not matter if you do not judge or condemn; because the world condemns you anyways. Your closest friends can condemn you. Unconditional love seems like an unreachable fairytale.
Do not judge or condemn; apparently does not apply.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
I'll take all the blame, the front page, and the fame
Yesterday. The epitome of my life - Billy Talent concert. The all-Canadian musical geniuses that fuel my passion for music, and Ben Kowalewicz, my goodness. So insane, so freaky, and I love him.
Yet since I hide beneath layers of egotistical typical north american teenager-ism, I secretly observe the behaviours of the general public especially in settings such as a concert. To my left, I had a family. Yes, at a rock concert fueled by bass and booze, was a typical housewife seated with two young boys, and their father. I had to question why they would choose to expose their sons to such worldly settings at such a young age. Or, they want them to grow up experiencing the magic of a live performance. Either way, kudos on being cool parents.
In front of me sat a man who appeared to be mid-thirties, accompanied by a man who appeared to be pushing fifty, yet can't get out of his wannabe-rocker phase. I was mildly amused and wondering why they were there until the thirty-something began talking about concerts he'd been to, and I must say he has good taste in music. Green Day, Metallica - and Rock on the Range. To say the least, he earned my respect. Not that it matters.
And the actual performance. Couldn't have sounded better, I'm not one to be an insane groupie but my goodness. Didn't miss a single note, didn't kill a single beat. These men know what they're doing. It was so tight. Could I hear after? No. Did I mind? Not in the least =)
One song in particular, actually moved me to tears - not that I was personally even relating to anything in the song. White Sparrows is such a sad melody about Ben's own, what I'm assuming to be, girlfriend dying. His aching and strained voice perfectly conveyed the emotion and feeling behind the lyrics - white sparrows came and carried her away. Most of his songs are about remorse, hate, politics, revenge but this one dug deeper - with sorrow. Needless to say when an artist can impact you that much with his voice - he's doing a good job.
Yet since I hide beneath layers of egotistical typical north american teenager-ism, I secretly observe the behaviours of the general public especially in settings such as a concert. To my left, I had a family. Yes, at a rock concert fueled by bass and booze, was a typical housewife seated with two young boys, and their father. I had to question why they would choose to expose their sons to such worldly settings at such a young age. Or, they want them to grow up experiencing the magic of a live performance. Either way, kudos on being cool parents.
In front of me sat a man who appeared to be mid-thirties, accompanied by a man who appeared to be pushing fifty, yet can't get out of his wannabe-rocker phase. I was mildly amused and wondering why they were there until the thirty-something began talking about concerts he'd been to, and I must say he has good taste in music. Green Day, Metallica - and Rock on the Range. To say the least, he earned my respect. Not that it matters.
And the actual performance. Couldn't have sounded better, I'm not one to be an insane groupie but my goodness. Didn't miss a single note, didn't kill a single beat. These men know what they're doing. It was so tight. Could I hear after? No. Did I mind? Not in the least =)
One song in particular, actually moved me to tears - not that I was personally even relating to anything in the song. White Sparrows is such a sad melody about Ben's own, what I'm assuming to be, girlfriend dying. His aching and strained voice perfectly conveyed the emotion and feeling behind the lyrics - white sparrows came and carried her away. Most of his songs are about remorse, hate, politics, revenge but this one dug deeper - with sorrow. Needless to say when an artist can impact you that much with his voice - he's doing a good job.
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